Insomnia.  Cancer.  Why is my Baby Growing Up So Fast?

Photo Credit 

Me.  Tonight.  

My sweet baby is finally sleeping through the night and my body has decided I don’t need to.

It’s not caffeine.

I think it’s sadness over my dad’s cancer comeback.   I’ve been unable to process it and unsure how to handle it.

I’ve been working out at the gym hard and I’m so stiff – but I don’t know if it’s working.    It’s so hard to deal with feelings surrounding mortality.   Especially with parents.   Especially now being a parent.   

I think I’m going to go ask my husband to give me a back rub.   That usually works.  

I think a part of me is also a bit bored shitless at home with the baby all day.  Yes, we get out and about – to the gym – to see friends.   But there is a big piece of me that misses being JUST MERE.   I would not trade Chloe in or anything like that.    I’m just feeling a bit melancholy for the loss of spontaneity.

In the same breath it breaks my heart and excites me simultaneously to watch Chloe learn and grow and develop.   It seems like she was born only yesterday but now is giggling and sitting and developing her own unique personality.  

I think this is Motherhood.   

Love,

Mere

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Insomnia.  Cancer.  Why is my Baby Growing Up So Fast?

  1. Hey Girl,
    I am sorry to hear about you pops. I know we are not super close but I know the struggles too well. Please know that I am here if you ever need to talk xo

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s