I am a Morning Person

  
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I am a morning person.   I think it is honestly just my Dad and I, in our whole family, that are not nocturnal humans.

I’m constantly shocked that my niece, at 4, sleeps in until 10 AM.  That’s insane, however awesome for my sister. 

I am awake super early today and instead of glaring at my husband sleeping like an angel, I decided to make a coffee and just have some peaceful “me” time before the rush of the day starts.   

Speaking of husband… We celebrated our first anniversary!   Holy shit we made it!    

  
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WOW.   Our first year was tough.  But do you know what?  We got through it, together.   We invested a ton of time and emotion into hard emotional work, and the reward at the end:  we are closer than ever. 

I was counting down the days until our first year was over.   Around November / December – I stopped. I reflected on how far we had come and celebrated the foundation that we had built in 2015.  This foundation is like a fortress wall, going forward, we know that we have the strength and commitment to take on anything, together. 

I’m not sitting here, with my rose coloured glasses on blowing smoke up my own (rather tight, thank you Crossfit) bottom – thinking it’s going to be sunshine and lollipops for the rest of eternity – because it isn’t – life doesn’t work that way.   What I do know, is that even if we are not each others biggest fan at the moment, we are in each others corner for life.  That is pretty cool. 

We have all had shit in our life.  Like- a lot of it.   In our generation it’s all about avoiding hurt, at all costs (this is my observation).  But without hurt, struggle, hardship and adversity – even though it totally sucks – there is no growth.  With going through something and coming out on the other side bartered but OK – comes accomplishment.    With accomplishment comes pride and knowledge that now, you know something more about yourself and relationships – than you did before.   

I have always been scared to be vulnerable – I think I’ve written about this before – so in the place of putting myself out there, I built a Fort Knox worthy web of “self protection” strategies, which really isolated me from the relationship as I wasn’t willing to risk my heart – just in case – it got broken.   I could dig up a thousand experiences from my life and childhood to justify myself.   Throughout the last year, I’ve learned that those are just those – previous experiences – and this is now.   It’s not like you have to ignore your past – or just bulldoze the walls you put up without thought.   In fact, just the opposite.  It takes time to dismantle your security system and it is important to take the time to do it, to go through everything and analyze it against what it is you have before you know and weigh if these systems are serving or hindering your life as it stands NOW. 

Anyway.  I’m hardly in a place to give advice – but – when the going gets tough, the emotionally tough stay and fight – because in my experience the fight is way better than what could be on the other side of flight.  
Xo

Mere

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