I would love to throw some BS around and tell you that I haven’t written in so long because I was training for said marathon, but that’s not true. I just didn’t. I’ve been thinking about it though!
This marathon has changed my life. It really did. Here is why:
- I never complete anything. If it’s too hard, I usually quit. This is with respect to my personal life, for some reason in my professional life, I’m completely different. I stayed dedicated to the training. I completed my marathon and #killedit! My time was 4:44:51! That is a f*cking sick time!
- It gave me confidence. No, I’m not going to go and qualify for the olympics, but a marathon is no small feat and I completed it, well. I did it. Not my husband. Not my best friend. ME! I did it! I also did it because I wanted to. I wanted to know that I could, and I can. I CAN!
- Running is a really good way to take some time out and think about sh*t. I think that I honestly meditated for 4 out of the 4:44:51 hours I was running. I just zoned out and thought about nothing. Thoughts would float in and out and I’d just watch them come and go. It was actually relaxing. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to have a TANTY between kms 36-39 but other than that, I was relatively chill.
- Running makes me want to live a healthier life. Like, maybe I don’t need to drink so much!
- I realized that I was wasting my potential. For no real reason. I don’t know whether or not it is because I was comfortable with my husband when we met, and as I usually do, I morphed into being available for him, liking the things he likes (which, luckily are alot of the same things) but I just kind of hung my self esteem on him. He was to validate me, to pump me up, make me feel awesome, tell me what to do. With all of the sh*t we have been going through, that’s alot of pressure to put on him. Especially when I don’t measure up. Then what? I’m sad and he feels like an asshole. So. running and training and calming the fuck down has really helped me to be like, fuck that guy (not literally but you know how girls are…) I AM awesome! And here’s an AWESOMESANDWICH c/o your ROCKSTAR WIFE.
So there you have it. Now I am re-obsessed with running and I feel so great and excited about it. I definitely fucked up my hip flexor but not listening to my veteran runner friends and jumping right back into fitness — but you know… sometimes you just have to go through it!
So. That’s it.