The F*CKING No Cussing Club


Today, I was inspired by my coworker, who I affectionately nicknamed Dickface. (no, he doesn’t have a dick on his face, no I will not post a photo to prove it…)  He sent me a pop-up and asked me if he picked up starting sentences with “Like, Fuck” from me.   I couldn’t deny it.

Ok.  I just need to backtrack for a minute — here is the link to the photo from Amazon that I posted.   Check out the titles of those books that come up along with this beauty.   YIKES.   As you can tell I’m not a Christian (don’t stone me… wait… do Christians still do that?  Or do they just passively aggressively shame each other?)  Anyway.  I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.    I think perhaps my next blog post will be titled “Why I’m an A$$hole” or something to that nature.   I’m actually pretty nice….

So Dickface inspired me to look up from the rock-bottom hole of shame my language has become.   Maybe that’s a strong statement.  I shared an article from entitled “People Who Say F*ck A Lot are Hotter and Healthier”.   It’s basic, but my share got more than the usual pity likes from people I consider true friends. (Thanks Mom!)    That narcissism rush coupled with the low of being called out for my potty mouth led me to do some research into where the people stand on swearing.

On the respondents were hugely in favour of expletives from time to time.   I read an article from Psychology Today outlining the mental health benefits from swearing, with encouragement to add more, if you should think of any, let me know.

Elle Magazine’s article about the bad habit of swearing really spoke to me.  I too, remember the first time I uttered a curse, it was behind some pine trees in the school playground.  Myself and two of my best friends sat in a circle in the second grade and cursed.  It felt so good to be bad.

I guess the deal is, that maybe I could cut back on swearing (among other vices) a bit.   Too much of a good thing is a bad thing?  I thought too much of a good thing is a good thing … as they say … you KNOW I’m going to look up that saying now… Alright, no.  I don’t get the google results I want immediately, so forget it.

Back to cutting back on swearing.   I found some “swearing support sites” such as the Cuss Control Academy.   I found useful alternatives for swearing at work.   I found 101 alternative swear words, which all sound a bit LDS to me.  You can google them.  For some reason that site is not loading for me.  Maybe because they know I’m not ready for replacing my F*ck with “Fiddelsticks”

I don’t really know how to cut back.  It’s not like a drinking or smoking habit wherein one might alot themselves a “two drink” max.   I guess maybe the motivation is for my future minis’ (read: child) first word not to be “F*ck.   That would be somewhat anticlimactic and probably conjure up a frosty pointed stare from the Husband.

I already, just typing about it feel the pangs of panic.   First I give up swearing – then what?  Do I learn another language?  Will I just learn all the swear words and be living in a secret world of language filth?   Hmm… not a bad idea.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s